Maybe you have heard about the fourth trimester – the first twelve weeks of your baby’s life. A period of great emotional and physical change for a new mother and a time where your baby is adapting to life outside the womb.
Typically in our society, this huge shift for new mothers has been underestimated or even forgotten about by many. Although some cultures around the world do honour this period of matrescence (the word used to describe the transition to motherhood), in western society it is often overlooked. Recovering from birth, hormonal changes, navigating breastfeeding (if you choose to feed in this way) and learning how to care for your new baby takes time. Nevertheless, it is forgotten thanks to the ‘bounce back’ culture we find ourselves in. Knowing how we can protect this time and nurture ourselves is fundamental to not only surviving the fourth trimester but thriving!
How to prepare before your baby arrives
Prenatal education is amazing in helping you feel prepared for labour, birth and the basics of caring for your baby however some education overlooks the emotional and hormonal challenges that can arise in the fourth trimester. At Beloved Bumps, we have designed our prenatal courses to help you feel prepared in EVERY way- physically, emotionally and socially. As midwives, we know the importance of exploring relationship changes and dynamics, the psychological changes that new parents go through and how to therefore ease this transition. Women who have planned and prepared for those first few months are known to physically recover from their birth quicker, describe more secure bonding and attachment with their baby and also have a reduced risk of postnatal depression.
How you can prepare looks different for everyone- engaging in prenatal education classes, finding a support network of other expectant parents, stocking up on pain relief at home, stocking the snack cupboard and batch cooking nourishing food for the freezer are just some ideas. Preparing food in advance means you will get a hearty dose of vitamins which are hugely important when recovering from birth! All these ideas are simple but your future self will thank you for the preparation!
Rest and recovery
Whether you have had a vaginal birth or caesarean, your body has been through a life changing event; this should not be underestimated when thinking about your recovery after your baby is born. It is normal in many cultures for women to have a 4-6 week period post birth where they may limit their activity and focus on practices which promote their recovery. I am not advocating that you should do this- each new mum is unique but uninterrupted time with your new baby where you focus on getting to know each other, focus on establishing feeding (whichever way you choose) and establishing yourselves as a new family is hugely important. As midwives, we want you to feel zero guilt in resting- lots of sofa snuggles, netflix and endless cups of tea- glorious!
Managing visitors
How to prioritise rest leads onto my next point- how to plan and manage visitors. Now here me out here- anyone who has family and friends who are keen to visit and help out are very lucky and I cannot stress this enough. Visitors are so important in many ways, not only to offer practical and emotional support but also to meet your baby and establish a relationship with them. However in my experience as a midwife I have seen that sometimes visitors can be tricky too! Many women that I have cared for have ended up feeling overwhelmed by the constant stream of family and friends whose intentions are well meaning but it might just be a bit much. Firstly, try not to feel guilty about needing to consider how you might manage visitors. It is normal to want to establish yourselves as a new family and protect this space with your new baby. If family are planning to come and stay with you, consider who, when and for how long would be best. If the thought of someone coming to stay feels stressful, maybe rethink this. My advice here would be to consider- who might actually be helpful and what might I need from people? Who will help me clean, cook some food, collect groceries (rather than just wanting to hold your baby 24/7).
Find your village
Navigating the fourth trimester can feel easier when you have others alongside you who are also going through the same thing. There is nothing like texting your mum friends at 2am and knowing that someone will reply! Understandably, meeting up with friends during those very early few weeks might not be possible which is why it can be amazing if you have started to find your support network before your baby is born. Once again, this is another reason as to why joining prenatal classes is the best thing you can do! At Beloved Bumps we pride ourselves on our interactive, fun and social prenatal classes which result in long lasting and meaningful friendships between mums and dads alike. Peer support in navigating the fourth trimester is also found to prolong breastfeeding rates and once again be protective against postnatal depression.
Seek support
Finally, as an experienced midwife of over a decade, I cannot stress enough how important it is to ask for help when you need it. In many countries, midwifery care is offered as standard up to 28 days postnatally however this is not always the norm. Just because something is not routinely offered however does not mean that the care is any less important. Everyone deserves kind, compassionate and evidenced based care from a healthcare professional whom you know and trust. As experienced midwives and lactation specialist midwives at Beloved Bumps, we are here to support you with common and more complexed feeding issues, increase your confidence in caring and getting to know your new baby and offering practical advice such as bathing and safe sleep. We also love to chat and are always here as a listening ear.
The fourth trimester doesn’t always need to be a tricky one. With thoughtful preparation, individualised care and the right tribe around you, you might even just thrive in your newborn bubble.
