Next up with a question that we asked our real mums – what would they say to a fellow mum-to-be in order to prep them? This one had some great answers:
‘You might have a very safe and healthy delivery on paper and still have a really really tough time’
‘Discussion how you make decisions with your partner and doing a tour of a facilities so they are familiar to you ahead of time’
‘Talk to health professionals and midwifes in particular’
‘Get a doula, not affiliated with the hospital, to advocate for you… you may think you’ll be able to do this, but it’s hard to do in the chaos of the moment!’
When these started coming through I was really surprised, as I thought the answers would be more about perineal massage, prenatal yoga and antenatal classes, but actually the strong theme that was coming through was about having the right birth team, the right birth support, and being mentally prepared.
A lot of mums who had had a doula during their birth strongly recommended having one – this doesn’t surprise me – a doula is that continuity of care who you see throughout your pregnancy, is there with you during your birth, and supports you at home with your new baby. They act as a middle man between hospital staff and you, and they understand and know what birth looks like so can support you just by saying ‘everything is ok, you are safe, this is normal’.
If you live in a country where obstetricians provide prenatal care, then find out if there is a midwife in the country – midwives are the experts in natural birth, and so will often know or work with pro natural Doctors so that you can increase your chances of having a natural birth if that is what you are hoping for.
Your birth team is so important – even if you have been with your Doctor for a few months, maybe they even did your fertility treatment, it doesn’t mean they are always the right doctor for you. Find out what their beliefs are around birth, get recommendations for a pro natural Doctor, and then build your birth team – that could be a doula, your partner, family or friends. You need to feel safe and supported during the birthing process!
