Instead of asking Dr Google questions about your newborn at 2am- ask your midwife instead.
We have all been there. You are in the early throws of your parenting journey, recovering from giving birth, feeling hormonal and sleep deprived. As if this wasn’t enough, you are also now responsible for nurturing a tiny human who depends on you for everything. Understandably, those long nights can be lonely and can leave you feeling overwhelmed. As your partner lies soundly asleep next to you, who else is awake at such a ridiculous time other than Dr Google?
Rather than rely on your favourite search engine, we have compiled straightforward, easy to understand answers to some of the most frequently googled questions during the night of those early days. Answers which are evidenced based and up to date as opposed to the never ending hole of forums and chat GPT.
Why does my baby not sleep at night and want to feed more at night?
Everyone tells you that all a newborn baby will do is eat and sleep. So why does my baby hate sleeping at night? In the day time they seem to settle anywhere but come darkness, a switch flips and they think it is party time. Firstly, newborn babies do not have a circadian rhythm for the first 6-8 weeks. This means that they sleep randomly, potentially for 2 or 3 hour chunks but spread over a 24 hour period. I always ask parents to imagine animals in the wild- baby mammals will often stay awake at night with their mother in order to protect them from predators. Your baby is the same. Prolactin is a hormone which is responsible for milk production and this hormone is highest at night. Your baby might meet up to 35% of their daily milk intake during the night, therefore it is instinctive to feed more during this time.
It should also be noted that a newborn’s stomach is very small. This, accompanied with the fact that breast milk has a natural laxative in it, means they empty their stomach contents very frequently (hello lots of dirty nappies!). As a result, your baby needs to feed again soon after the previous feed in order to take in more milk. Again, be reassured that this is nature’s way of ensuring your baby goes back to the breast which also maintains your milk supply.
Why does my baby hate their crib?
The above leads nicely onto the next commonly asked question- why does my baby hate their crib? It has happened to all of us, your baby seems so content sleeping on you but the moment you try to get them to settle in their own crib/moses basket they are wide awake. Sound familiar? Don’t worry, there is a reason for this!
The first 12 weeks of your baby’s life are known as the ‘fourth trimester’. This time signifies a period of adaptation for your baby to life outside of the womb. Their nervous systems are still maturing at this stage, meaning that they startle easily and are reliant on you for soothing and comfort. If you imagine- your baby has spent 9 months inside of you, hearing your heartbeat and your voice. Suddenly they are born and we expect them to settle by themselves in a cot where they do not feel close to you or protected. Unfortunately, I am unable to give you a miracle cure to enable your baby to sleep alone in their cot during those first weeks. Instead, I want to reassure you that this behaviour is NORMAL and will not last forever! Knowing this can help to reframe it as something that your baby needs for this short period rather than something which needs to be fixed. That being said, I know how tough those long nights can be. Asking for support during the night from your partner/family, resting in the day, as well as support from our lactation consultant midwives can really help to ensure that you get support when you need it most.
How do I know my baby is getting enough milk?
The question that every new mother has asked at some point. All new mothers want their baby to be well, thrive and grow but thanks to the confusing world of breastfeeding, pumping, formula and top ups, it can be hard to find any clear and concise information about how to actually ensure your baby is getting what they need. Breastfeeding mothers understandably can be concerned as we can never know exactly how much their baby is drinking- however, when we can learn what to look out for, this doesn’t need to be an issue.
On average, babies between 4 weeks and 6 months of age require anywhere between 750-1500mls of milk a day (whether that be breastmilk, formula or a mix). This shows that no two babies are the same- we should not compare daily intakes as each baby is so different!
Firstly, to assess whether a baby is getting enough milk, let’s go back to basics. Is your newborn baby settled between feeds? Do they either fall asleep at the end of the feed (or shortly after) and settle for 2-3 hours (apart from periods of cluster feeding), or do they never seem satisfied, constantly waking up and wanting to feed again shortly after the previous? If the answer is yes, they feed on average 8-14 times a day and mostly settle in between then be reassured- this is a great sign.
Secondly, are you seeing the expected amounts of urine and bowel movements per day that you would expect for their age? After a baby is 5 days old, it is normal for them to wee and poo at least 6 times a day (it can also be more than this which is normal). If you are concerned about your baby’s milk intake, one of the first things we will ask you as midwives is ‘how many nappies are you getting in a 24 hour period’.
Thirdly, your baby’s weight. It is normal for your baby to lose up to 10% of their birth weight in the first 5 days of their life. The majority of babies will regain this weight by day 10-14 and then we expect them to gain further weight in line with their centile curve. Many parents focus solely on their baby’s weight when looking at milk intake however be guided by your midwife, lactation consultant or paediatrician here. If your baby is drinking enough, they will be gaining weight. Weighing too frequently than this without a clinical indication is shown to increase parental anxiety and reduce confidence particularly in breastfeeding mothers. To prevent this, be guided by your midwife about when weighing your baby is indicated.
Is it normal for my baby to be loud whilst sleeping?
This can be a weird one. Your baby appears to sleep soundly like an angel but then there are periods of time where they do the complete opposite. Newborns spend a high proportion in a lighter phase of sleep (REM) which is when they are more likely to move around, make noises and maybe even appear to wake up but then go back to sleep again. Their immature breathing patterns also mean that they might breathe loudly, appear to be intermittently snorting and maybe even breathe a few times in quick succession before pausing.
Your baby’s digestive system is also learning how to digest milk and much of this digestion occurs when they are asleep. Passing wind and a stool during sleep is common- your baby stretching and moving is them trying to open their bowels which we know with newborns happens very frequently!
It is important to be aware here of what is not normal. If you notice that your baby is breathing fast persistently, appears to be struggling to breathe or stops breathing, you must call emergency services immediately.
If you are reading this and it is the middle of the night- I hope this has reassured you and helped you understand your newborn baby a little bit more. Please also remember that as midwives, we love supporting you to get to know your little one so always reach out if you need some support. Becoming a parent can be overwhelming but we are here to support you every step of the way.